Favourite Heng Long howlers?

[43rdRecceReg]

Yep, we all have our ups and downs, and I've had a dash of the latter lately with a busted ankle; but what better way to relieve the blues than with a spot of laughter to boost the old endorphins. For comic relief, I often turn to Pedro Carolino's legendary
'English as she is spoke' (1883), intended as a helpful portuguese-english phrase book travellers. Unfortunately for Carolino, but luckily for us, Caroline couldn't speak a word of English, but could get by in French. Thus, the phrase book was based upon a french-english dictionary. The book caused a sensation in victorian Britain and America, sending peals of laughter around the globe (Mark Twain was a big fan) with such useful phrases as: (At the Barber's) "Are you cutting them hairs"; or, (at the stables).."This horse is um pursy, he is a jade!" Then, for general heated discussions he offers: "He burns ones selfs the brains", and "He has me take out my hairs!". For a walk we have' "Do you hear the birds gurgling?"More little treasures await
But now we have the delights of Heng Long instruction manuals to fall back on.. The experienced 'old contemptibles' on this site probably probably don't read them, but they're missing out on such rib-ticklers as- for a chuckle:
"Stick the mark to you need the position, then pressing down the paster" (fitting decals). For a titter, we have (when topping up the smoke oil): 'Take out protect lid- the hole of adding''. I love the 'hole of adding'. Then we can go for a full guffaw with:
"DIY installation components if the hole is too loose parts split second binding your own, if a narrow hole parts dealing with your own tools.." (almost from a bizarre sex manual).
That said, the illustrations are good, and the latest models a vast improvement, so it's no time to be uncharitable. Some of the Clark TK22 instructions are borderline howlers too..

[atcttge]

The description of the Ultimate Gearbox 2 on the side of the box makes it sound like it's a sex machine.

[Roboticus_Prime]

I like the pictures of sad tanks being driven in mud/sand/grass.

The description of the Ultimate Gearbox 2 on the side of the box makes it sound like it's a sex machine.

It's not? Man, I've been doing it wrong...

[43rdRecceReg]

Tee, Hee! Aye, Merry Christmas, Kiaser! As odd as it sounds, I could really have done with a kilt at the emergency room, as they had to cut my trews off (nay they shredded them) wi' a sharp pair of shears! With blue lights and an unplanned visit to A &E, you have no time to pack a wee baggy with stuff to protect the old modesty. When I finally emerged, five days later, massive cast on the right foot, the shredded kegs gave me the appearance o' shabby chic..or of a heilan scarecrow..! McCatweazel, or Worzel McGummidge!

[dgsselkirk]

We call this stuff Chinglish....

Merry Christmas boys...

[Markocaster]

[43rdRecceReg]

Cheers for the hoot, Marko...and given the drought that you've had for the last four years, I'm doubly impressed by that smile. Merry Christmas and (for your soya beans, grapes, wines etc.,) a rainy New year!

[atcttge]

The description of the Ultimate Gearbox 2 on the side of the box makes it sound like it's a sex machine.

Wear resistance sex. I think this was meant to use with industrial strength rubbers....

[atcttge]

We call this stuff Chinglish....

Merry Christmas boys...

Chinglish version would be Melly Chlismas Boys....

[43rdRecceReg]

Ha!Ha! Bags of potential here; maybe the barrel can be replaced with a 7.4v vibrator or, perhaps, (in chingrish)..a "crit stimurator''...Now, once more unto the breech, my lads!!!