Jack I fear you have been exposed to "Received English" which is what as someone born in the Home counties (the title given to those counties bordering London)I speak, and you believe that is how the people of this country speak,

My first night in the Army I stood at the bar a long way from home beside me was another newcomer,
I offered to buy him a drink and he pointed to a bottle and said "FITS THAR"?
What the "F" did he say ?Thought I.
This gentleman became a good friend over the years and came from Glasgow,
"What is that" ? Was what he had asked.
Just about every county in Great Britain and Northern Ireland has its own distinct dialect and then we have the different languages of this land, any or all of which are quite impenetrable to outsiders, If I remember correctly we have Cornish, Welsh, Manx, Gaelic,and Irish, Each one of which is a different and distinct language.
Shaun.